Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Snooty Elitist Snob

Time to confess my obsession. One of them. I will confess one obsession. All the rest will have to wait. I have a "thing" with pickles. Dill Pickles. Kosher Spears, Halves, Wholes, Minis. But, I have issue with them. Here's the thing. All dill pickles are NOT alike. Do not be fooled into thinking that all dill pickles are the same. They most certainly are NOT. 
  1. There are items called dill pickles that seem to have been dyed a flourescent shade of yellowish-green.
  2. There are items called dill pickles that are limp and soggy.
  3. There are very large items called dill pickles that are sold individually in bags.
  4. There are items called dill pickles with catchy brand names.
  5. There are items called dill pickles with cute creatures trying to hock their objectionable dill pickles on you.
  6. There are items called dill pickles sold on the grocery shelves next to the black olives.

All those "dill pickles" should be left there on their shelf to wonder why you passed up all of the "dill pickles". You are passing up those items of inferior quality, likened to a can of spam, for one reason. One reason ONLY. The best and therefore ONLY dill pickle on the market and available for purchase at 99.9% of all supermarkets is this beautiful brand that I picked up today at our not so local food mart.
For me, no other dill pickle brand makes its way into my grocery cart and subsequently into my home. NOPE, NEVER. (I know that I just said that terrible word "never" that I definitely know better about. But, I cannot help it this time. I don't eat those other things that call themselves dill pickles, in my own home.) It does not matter to me that this jar of pickles tends to be a bit pricier than other items that call themselves dills. I figure if we are skimping pennies and trying to save somewhere, buying an inferior item calling itself a dill pickle is not the way to do it. What to do if the cost of the only dill pickle is too high to spend? I opt for NO dill pickles. That's right. I have such strong feelings regarding dill pickles that if I can't buy Claussen for some reason, I do not buy dill pickles at all.

Anyway, yes I went to a sort-of nearby larger town today to take the kids bowling with a homeschool group. Since we were there, we had to stop and do a bit of shopping at the save and sack. 

To my delight, there was a wee-bit of a special in the grocers' refrigerator aisle. Claussen Kosher Dill Spears for a MERE 99 cents!! Yea, you read that correctly. I bought a few jars. I am not ashamed. I considered buying more, but didn't want to get them home and have to explain why the milk is siting on the counter and we are having milk, fresh veggies and a jar of pickles for supper. So, I only bought five. I now know that I could have bought 10! They would have fit I am now certain!! 
By the way, on another note that only a few might understand, I want some bargain lessons from Mr. Disberger. Yes, I do! I bet he would have been thrilled for me and my 99 cent pickles. I know, he would have gotten them free somehow, I know. That is why I need the lessons. I have to get over my brand issue here to be half the bargainer that he is, but I want lessons for other things. Not dill pickles. I have my mind set in regards to dill pickles. I can't buy the others just to get 'em cheap or even free. I do not sell out for dill pickles. Claussen... mmmmmm.

Go ahead. Call me a pickle snob. I already know. It's that obsession I have.


  1. If you're a pickle snob then I am too. These are the only pickles I will eat! I hoard them in the back of the fridge, saving them for myself because others do not know their value...others are content with the flourescent green baby dills that are packed in the jar which is stored on a warm shelf.

    Wanna know the best thing about these pickles? There is a salad that can be made with them. Ranch dressing, a rinsed can of chick peas, a head of caulifower, green onions, and dill. Voila! My mouth is watering...

  2. sorry aubrey, your salad sound muy yucko.

    not that big of a pickle snob, more of a pickle whore i guess...ill take just about any.


  3. I am offended by Regina's vigilante approach to pickledom. Funny, though. VERY funny...
    - Pops

  4. Ok, I'm sorry...as much as I love you, Erica, your pickle obesession...well, all I can say is "Ewww!!!" Sorry....

  5. Yes, I know about your pickle obession with Clausen's! And yes, DDisberger would be highly impressed with your bargain buy. As a matter of fact, we recently had dinner w/them and he had bought wine for dinner and there was a special....so 10 bottles!


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